Ride to Suicide
by Evil-Little-Leprechaun
Summary: At the last moment the mare ducked her head down and skidded to a halt; her rider kept going, however, and crashed into the jump...
1. Enter Nightmare

**Because I've always wanted to write a Heartland fic. Sad, but there you go.**

**Rogue Enmity is an eight year old eventing mare under a lot of pressure to win. Unfortinately, personalities clash and Rogue becomes more and more resistant with the people who push her ruthlessly. Things reach breaking point, and when the mare deliberately throws her rider - resulting in the girl being hospitalized - Rogue's future takes a drastic twist.**

**When Amy and Ben catch and subdue a runaway horse in a showground parking lot, they soon discover they've got a lot more than they bargained for. A furious trainer and word of shooting the mare is all it takes for Amy to get involved, and suddenly she finds herself out of her depth in attempting to help a creature that doesn't want help.**

**It's 'do or die' time; if the Heartland team can't rehabilitate the most dangerous horse in Virginia, her life will come to an abrupt end; and so might theirs...**

**I don't own Heartland, or any of its characters. I do, however, own Rogue Enmity and this fanfic. Think of stealing, and I'll gouge out your eyes and feed them to one of my Blood Steeds.**

_'Got to fight another fight - I gotta run another night...'_

_Teeth bared, the fiery little mare paced the perimeter of her small box stall. Though the early morning air was cool and still, her smooth ebony hide was damp with sweat. The reason for her restlessness was made clear as the grooms filtered out onto the yard to start their shift, one of whom arrived promptly at her door with a showing kit under one arm, a halter in the other._

_"Don't give me trouble, you brat of an animal..."_

_'Get it out - check it out,  
I'm on my way and I don't feel right...'_

_Groomed and wearing her travelling gear, ready for the hour and a half drive to the showgrounds, the black mare's mood worsened. Her ears were laid back as the groom, with help of another, manouvered her up the ramp with shoves and sharp words. Yet they were insignificant pests compared to the actual stimulus that awaited her; the mare stared out the side-window, and pawed the ground with a hoof as the van slowed..._

_'I gotta get me back - I can't be beat and that's a fact...'_

_Dark brown orbs eyed her rider resentfully, malevolently as she mounted; the mare tossed her head and snatched at the bit as the reins were sharply shortened, and kicked out in response to the firm smack of the whip on her flank. Her muscles were tensed, her body language promising trouble as she jogged and pulled in the warm-up ring..._

_'It's OK - I'll find a way - you ain't gonna take me down, no way...'_

_The all-too-familiar loud-voice boomed after she sullenly cleared a few practice jumps, and the mare's tail lashed as she was kicked forwards to trot into the main arena. The course of jumps, once so inviting and attractive to the talented eventing horse, now loomed mockingly as part of a twisted version of the sport she used to love._

_The mare had no intention of performing for the person on her back; the person she had grown to distrust and despise over the months..._

_'Don't judge a thing until you know what's inside it!'_

_The bell went; the mare shot forward, ignoring the forceful jerks of the reins that indicated her rider's attempts to regain control. The mare threw her head up, allowed herself to be steered in the general direction of the first jump and lunged over it. The unexpected, massive leap unseated her rider - no, her passenger - and the mare accelerated sharply, racing towards the next obstacle..._

_'Don't push me - I'll fight it!'_

_Her passenger hauled on the reins to slow her down; the bit jarred against the mare's teeth, and she bucked in retaliation before throwing herself at fence number two. The mare literally crashed through the defenceless upright, bringing the whole structure to the ground. Miraculously she kept her footing and swerved off to the right, fighting the pale-faced girl on her back with every stride..._

_'Never gonna give in - never gonna give it up no!'_

_The mare took the bit in her teeth and bolted down the long side of the arena. The frantic tuggings on the reins influenced her mad run, and she sized up a double spread in her way. At the last moment she ducked her head down and skidded to a halt; her rider kept going, however, and crashed into the jump..._

_'If you can't catch a wave then your'e never gonna ride; you can't come uninvited!'_

_The audience gasped; stewards slipped into the arena and ran over. The fiery black mare, free and in control for once, reared up warningly. Ears flattened, teeth bared, she was every inch a danger. A steward edged forward cautiously, then flung himself out of the way as the mare charged right at him. The gate through which she'd entered was firmly shut, but the mare gathered herself and, in a smooth movement that revealed her true jumping potential, cleared the five foot barrier with ease._

_'Never gonna give in - never gonna give up, no!'_

_Horrifed bystanders pushed and shoved so as to avoid being run down. The whites of the mare's eyes flashed, and she galloped straight for the car park with her stirrups flying, reins dangling dangerously close to her legs. Fear, pain, anger... All feelings were drowned by the overwhelming urge to __run, run, run._

_**"Whoa!"**_

_A man stood his ground in front of the mare, waving his arms; instinctively the mare swerved and slowed to avoid him. A sudden pair of hands yanked on the reins, and throwing her head up in protest the mare slid to a stop. Her sides heaved, her eyes rolled, and her legs skittered on the tarmac, but a gentle touch and a soft, soothing voice eased her alarm._

_"Easy, girl, easy..."_

_The last thing she was aware of was that strange, calming circular massage on her crest and that reassuring female voice, before there was a sharp jab in her neck and everything went out of focus..._

_'You can't take me, I'm free...'_


	2. Eye of the Storm

**Because I've always wanted to write a Heartland fic. Sad, but there you go.**

**Rogue Enmity is an eight year old eventing mare under a lot of pressure to win. Unfortinately, personalities clash and Rogue becomes more and more resistant with the people who push her ruthlessly. Things reach breaking point, and when the mare deliberately throws her rider - resulting in the girl being hospitalized - Rogue's future takes a drastic twist.**

**When Amy and Ben catch a runaway horse in a showground parking lot, they soon discover they've caught a lot more than they can handle. A furious trainer and word of shooting the mare is all it takes for Amy to get involved, but suddenly she finds herself out of her depth in attempting to help a creature that doesn't want help.**

**It's 'do or die' time; if the Heartland team can't rehabilitate the most dangerous horse in Virginia, her life will come to an abrupt end; and so might theirs...**

**I don't own Heartland, or any of its characters. I do, however, own Rogue Enmity and this fanfic. Think of stealing, and I'll gouge out your eyes and feed them to one of my Blood Steeds.**

**Enjoy.**

**Yours Insanely,**

**{E~L~L}**

* * *

**"**You did what?!"

Amy belatedly realised that her impulsive decision to take on Rogue Enmity was not going to sit well with her sister.

"Look, I know it wasn't very sensible, but what else was I supposed to do? The mare had a death sentence hanging over her head!"

"We don't have the room, Amy! The press will be all over us once they hear, too. Remember Gallant Prince?"

"Serpentine is going home today, so we have an empty stall; and Rogue isn't that well-known."

The two continued to argue; Ben and Ty shared a look of mutual discomfort as they stood, somewhat sheepishly, in the background that was Heartland's cluttered kitchen. Finally, unable to stand the bickering any longer, Ty spoke up.

"Lou, it'll be fine. Amy and I will take turns working with Rogue Enmity. The horse needs help, and no one else will take her; do you really want to turn her away?"

Lou wearily pushed her hair back from her face and sighed, finally conceding defeat in the face of the stablehand's logical words.

"No, I don't... Just be careful, okay? Horses don't gain a reputation like hers for nothing."

* * *

_'Would you mind if I hurt you?_

_Understand that I need to...'_

_The mare's awareness returned, oh so slowly. She was aware of being walked down a ramp, of being led up an unfamiliar yard and into an unfamiliar stable. The person with the gentle touch was there, along with two others who hung back and watched as her travelling gear was removed. The mare stood still, head hanging, eyes dull, feeling oddly passive and unconcerned with the world around her for what seemed like hours._

_'What have you done now?...'_

_At last, the blurry numbness slowly retreated from her mind. The mare lifted her head and, nostrils flaring to inhale the sudden overload of strange scents, began to pace her box. After a few minutes a stranger - a dark-haired teen with a fluent, quiet compassion about him - came down the aisle and called quietly to her. The mare halted her pacing and regarded him suspiciously, distrustfully. Her ears laid back, her muscles tensed, the mare's whole body langauge screamed the questions __**'Why am I here? What do you want?'**_

_'Wish that I had other choices...'_

_The Quiet-speaker held an offering over the door, continuing his quiet murmerings, but the mare wasn't fooled. Humans only ever approached or called when they wanted something from you, like work. Like jumping._

_The mare had made up her mind. She would not jump again, not for anybody. She would not be saddled and forced to do things she no longer wished to do._

_Two more strangers appeared; the Waving-arms male and the Gentle-touch female from earlier. The mare eyed them both; Gentle-touch made to enter the stall, but Quiet-speaker held her back. There was the brief stirrings of disagreement between them before Gentle-touch got her way and approached, slowly. _

_'I am not a threat'__, her body said, yet the tension from Waving-arms and Quiet-speaker tainted the atmosphere. They were both watching intently, as though expecting something bad to happen. This subtle negativity set the mare on edge and worsened her mood, for it reminded her of the stablehands at her old yard - numerous and insignificant, like ants - who always crowded her space whenever something was going to happen. _

_Always watching and waiting, like wolves; ready to jump in and ruthlessly subdue her with more restraints and punishment. The mare had engaged in far too many of these confrontations; these strangers would not be getting anything done today._

_'I won't show mercy on you now...'_

_The mare's ears flicked back, but Gentle-touch had her eyes cast down and did not acknowledge the warning._

_Just as Gentle-touch's hand was about to rest on her shoulder, the mare threw up her head and kicked out - kicked to miss. Gentle-touch leapt back, and beat a hasty retreat; Waving-arms and Quiet-speaker made alarm sounds, and Gentle-touch heeded them, slipping quickly out of the stall. The mare snorted and kicked her door for good measure, but the message had been received. Unlike those at her old place, Gentle-touch, Waving-arms and Quiet-speaker quickly left her alone, going to tend to the other horses. There was no anger, no punishment._

_'It's over now, what have you done?'_

_But for some reason the mare could not fathom, the sense of dread in the air lingered. It hung over her like a cloud of restlessness and worry and unease, mutating into bitterness and resentment and malignant fear whenever anyone approached. It was just them, those three strangers, tending to the unknown others in the barn. She touched noses with one of them; a pretty little black mare with a quiet, friendly nature; and bickered passionately with the buckskin gelding that was her opposite neighbour. Gentle-touch appeared out of nowhere to break things up and lead the buckskin out - for grazing, his smug body language broadcasted - but the mare curled up her lip to remind him that she'd won their bickering match by several nips._

_'Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?_

_'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy...'_

_Quiet-speaker came by again, alone, and with food. The mare laid her ears back to indicate her lack of tolerance for his proximity, but he simply hung up a haynet, checked her water, and left her space. After brief browsing of the fresh fibre, the mare put her head over the door and regarded the human warily as he went about his work with Waving-arms - who, wisely, kept his distance - but apart from the occasional other being brought out, the barn was fairly quiet. It lacked the brisk, consistant activity of her old place, which made for a somewhat soothing change. The mare did not understand what was expected of her or why she was here, but the others held a calmness and contentment that she could not comprehend. Several showed open affection and fondness towards Quiet-speaker and Waving-arms, indicating obvious bonds between species that the mare had never before witnessed._

_It was strange... Very strange._

_The mare's head retreated back into her box._

_'There's a curse between us... Between me and you.'_


	3. Closer the lion stalks

**Last time, Rogue got accustomed to her surroundings; and Amy got her first warning. Ty seems to have had relatively little trouble so far; I wonder why that is, hm?... **

**Keep in mind that the Heartland team know little to nothing about Rogue's history. The real healing process can only begin once one understands what they're dealing with, and for that, Amy, Ty and Ben will have some serious detective work on their hands.**

**If anyone has Amy's Journal, look up the section 'Reading Horses' Faces' after reading this chapter and try to decode Rogue's base personality. You might be surprised.**

**I don't own Heartland, or any of its characters. I do, however, own Rogue Enmity and this fanfic. Think of stealing, and I'll gouge out your eyes and feed them to one of my Blood Steeds.**

**Enjoy.**

**Yours Insanely,**

**{E~L~L}**

"The horse could have killed you, Amy! You shouldn't have set foot in that stall!"

Lou's fierce rebuking was understandable; the older girl had been under a lot of strain recently in keeping Heartland running, and their newest resident wasn't helping anything. The fact that Amy had left for school immediately afterward and left her to get the updates from Ben had been the last straw. A wave of exasperation came over Amy as she tried to explain.

"I had to get a feel for her, Lou, and get a base idea of what her problems are; if we don't go near a horse, how are we supposed to find out how to help it? Besides, she wasn't trying to hurt me. Ty, tell her."

The stable hand, who had just come in the door, paused to rub his neck somewhat awkwardly as he took in the two sisters' expression.

"Let me guess, this is about whether Rogue is a killer horse or not." He guessed correctly.

"Well? What's your opinion?" Lou's tone was barely short of demanding. Ty considered the question, cautious as always in the way he worded things. He didn't want to lie to Lou, but neither did he want Amy biting his head off later for not backing her up.

"... She's dangerous, but we knew that when we took her on. Like Amy mentioned, Rogue didn't attack her; she issued a warning."

Amy nodded in agreement.

" She's not mean, Lou; you can tell by her face. She's got a dished face, indicating intelligence, and the curved tips of her ears indicate empathy, but there's also two subtle bumps; one just above her muzzle, one just below her eyes - "

Lou rolled her eyes and cut off her sister's rambling.

"Here you two go again, pursuading me into allowing more risky procedures... Fine. But please, Amy; wear a helmet around that creature, okay? I'm not so worried about you, Ty, as you at least have a sense of self-preservation."

The two nodded, grabbed a couple of muffins off the table, and returned to the barn.

" It's fear that's behind her behaviour," Amy stated grimly as they walked.

" We just have to figure out why."

* * *

_This is not a dream that I'm living_  
_This is just a world of Your own_  
_You took me from all that I knew..._

_Waving-arms had left with the big chestnut farther down; to work, she saw, and shuddered at the thought. Yet the chestnut seemed happy, his stride swinging out, his ears pricked at the prospect of being pushed and forced to clear colored poles in a certain way. The mare couldn't understand the other's calm, optimistic mood._

_Perhaps because her world was so different from his. In her world, going clear so that a certain-colored ribbon could be attatched to her bridle and flap near her eye was the supposed goal. In her world, bullying and hurting was acceptable, and those deemed 'useless' were given to the small, smelly ring with shouting people to be taken and loaded and unloaded at a different destination, often just as bad as the destination before. The pressure was always on, punishment always looming around the corner..._

_Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth_

___You took me from all that I knew..._

_There weren't many other horses in the barn now. The pretty black other had nickered and welcomed Quiet-speaker some time ago, and by her simple restraint and kinked tail the mare knew the other was being taken out to the field, like the buckskin earlier. The mare was not quite alone - she could hear the occasional shufflings of straw and slow, mechanical munching of hay from a couple of others - but the isolation was enough to make her feel restless, claustrophobic._

_She was being kept inside for work. She knew that without question, but the nearness of it made her tense up. The mare could smell the leather, could hear the footsteps and the quiet chatter. Her ears flattened against her skull, and she backed up into the far corner, brushing against her virtually untouched haynet as she did so._

_I'm scared and not sure that You are safe_  
_But Your eyes seem to say that You are good..._

_It was Quiet-speaker who came in this time, head-holder over one arm. He didn't approach, but merely stood just inside, sideways to her, in a passive and nonthreatening position. The mare's ears twitched at the unfamiar sight - what was he doing? - and though she stayed where she was, testing this strange show of body language for sincerity, after a few minutes she lowered her head slightly and blew through her nostrils in begrudged tolerance. _

_Gentle-touch exhaled, and when Quiet-speaker spoke the female disappeared. The mare barely noticed that; her eyes were focused on the enigmatic human male before her, to see how he'd respond._

_Mysterious_  
_That's what I call You_  
_I'm curious about You..._

_Quiet-speaker moved slowly, and when within reach she heard the soft sound of a screw-cap being opened. The sudden smell of lavender - and another scent she didn't recognise but instinctively liked - came to her nostrils, and when one small bottle was offered the mare hesitated, then stepped forward to sniff it; her lip flipped up over her nostrils at the smell. Quiet-speaker put a few drops in her bucket, and held a small chunk of carrot out to her. As she crunched the unexpected treat the head-holder - which she'd briefly forgotten about - was smoothly and expertly slipped on, and her head jerked up just in time to see the source of the smell of leather; a saddle and bridle in Gentle-touch's arms. Quiet-speaker secured the rope from her head-holder to the ring in the wall before going over to Gentle-touch._

_Who am I to stand before You?_  
_I am speechless_  
_But in my weakness..._

_They'd tricked her! Well, she'd show them. They'd be sorry when they were in the saddle and she was in control. Oh, she'd have control all right. The mare knew all the tricks of the trade._

_ But, to her surprise, after a brief interaction Gentle-touch went on down the aisle, and Quiet-speaker returned to her side. Rubbing some of the lavender onto his palms, he began to do the same light, massaging strokes on her shoulder that Gentle-touch had done when they'd first met. She stiffened, then gradually let herself relax into the rhythm._

_You see the core of me_

_You are here and all is well..._

_For the first time in her life, she felt completely relaxed. For the first time in her life, the presence of a person did not cause tension to take hold of her limbs. She gave a short sigh, though the moment Quiet-speaker's fingers left her hide the spell was broken. Her head lifted, ears coming forward into an alert and wary position as she watched him untie the rope from the ring in the wall._

_ What was he doing now?_

_Quiet-speaker murmered something to her and stepped away; he wanted her to walk with him. She blew through her nostrils in half-hearted suspicion, but stepped forward anyway. The half-door was opened, and out of habit she swung her hindquarters away from it as soon as she was out into the aisle. To her surprise there was no jerk on the rope, no slam of wood against a briefly vulnerable flank; only Quiet-speaker's soothing words as he slowly, carefully shut the half-door behind them before walking on down the aisle. Hesitantly, she followed._

_Shown me how it feels to hope_

_I can learn to fly..._

_She smelt it before she saw it; stretches and stretches of open space and green and Others. She quickly caught sight of the little black Other from earlier, along with a cluster of strangers. As she was brought up to the half-door of the open space next to theirs, she called out, and received answering greetings from a few interested Others who trotted over. She repeated her hasty swing of the hindquarters when Quiet-speaker went to close the half-door behind them, yet again there was no harsh treatment, no anger or even irritance. It was puzzling, how calm and at ease Quiet-speaker was. Nonetheless, as soon as the head-holder came off she ran. She ran away, fast and free, kicking her hind legs into the air and tossing her head in the glory of being untouchable. She halted at the far end of the open space and turned to see if she was being pursued; Quiet-speaker was on the other side of the half-door now, leaning against it, watching. Gentle-touch had joined him._

_She snorted defiantly, then moved to interact with the Others by the barrier._


	4. A Study in Communication

**Last time, Rogue and Ty had some bonding time, and then the mare was turned out; not before displaying her dislike of doors and gates, though... A snippet of her past revealed.**

**Apologies for the late update, but I have more pressing matters at hand; ie, exams of DOOM and pleasing my teachers, which in turn will please my parents, which in turn will allow me to watch Sherlock BBC.**

**Again.**

**What? I'm addicted; it's a fantastic series, apart from the fact that there are only three episodes so far. Damn you Benedict Cumberbatch for being so irresistable as a high-functioning sociopath xD**

**Anyway, I digress.**

**I don't own Heartland, or any of its characters. I do, however, own Rogue Enmity and this fanfic. Think of stealing, and I'll - I'll...**

**I will steal your soul.**

**Enjoy.**

**Yours Insanely,**

**{E~L~L}**

**

* * *

**

"Someone slammed a door on that horse."

Amy paused in the act of returning a newly cleaned saddle to its rack and stared at him. Ty's face, like his voice, was deadly serious.

"What do you mean? As in, an accident, or -"

"No. If it had been, then she would have just shied or fidgeted when I led her out of her stall; instead, she resisted, then bolted out. And she behaved the same way with both with the field gate; she whipped herself round pretty fast both times, too. Ears back, wild eye; resentment, not anxiety. "

As he spoke, Ty could see it in mind's eye.

Rogue moving her most vulnerable area, her flanks, out of striking range... Turning to face the potential threat, to see if the danger had been avoided...

" I'm telling you, Amy, that someone deliberately slammed a door on Rogue, and they did it more than once."

Amy paled slightly; similar thoughts of what their newest arrival could have undergone with her last owner began to fill her head, each one worse than the last. Certainly the mare had been mistreated in some way - they'd known that - but full-on abuse... ?

" No wonder she's not fond of people, poor girl... But how does that connect with her performance in the ring? " Amy frowned; there were so many pieces to this puzzle they didn't have, and they could hardly try snooping around the mare's old home to find clues; the owner wanted nothing further to do with ' that crazed animal ' and it had been difficult enough to persuade her into selling Rogue to them in the first place. Resentment from maltreatment was one thing, but the mare's explosive tantrum seemed more personal than just a side effect from rough handling on the ground.

" Perhaps they used conventional training methods for schooling; Green Briar is hardly the only farm to do that, after all. She could have even been rapped, like Mercury. "

Mercury. The grey gelding had taught Amy so much in their week together in the mountains. The one who had taught her to focus on the journey, rather than the destination.

" Well, we'll erase all negative associations in time. Today, though, I think we should focus on bringing her in from the field. "

Ty grinned at that.

" Good point. I'll get some treats and a halter. "

* * *

_Yesterday I heard your voice  
Whispering through all the noise..._

_She heard them before she saw them, as usual. The mare had been keeping an eye on Waving-arms as he worked with a bay other, having finished work with the chestnut from earlier; the bay was a bit fidgety, but not because of his rider. Waving-arms' hands were quiet, his seat still, encouraging the bay to relax into his work._

_Still, when the bay calmly picked his way over the trot-sticks on the ground, the mare had shuddered lightly. The arrival of Quiet-speaker and Gentle-touch had been a briefly-welcome distraction; until she inferred from their body language the reason they were here. To bring her in, back to the box._

_The mare watched, skeptical, as Quiet-speaker and Gentle-touch split up after a ' subtle ' exchange of what her nostrils detected were treats. they brought in a few others first; the petite black mare she'd befriended whinnied to her as Gentle-touch led her and a two-colored part-male back up to the barn, and the mare called back reflexively._

_I pretended I couldn't hear you  
But you kept on pursuing me..._

_Quiet-speaker was in her space now, walking slowly over. Her ears twitched at the sound of his calm murmerings; her eyes watched intently, limbs stiffened and ready for flight. Far off to her right, there was a crack as the bay other clipped a trot-stick; she started in surprise, then wheeled around and cantered to the opposite corner of her space, farther from Quiet-speaker and closer to the others. Sticking her head over the fence she stared hard at them, deliberately not looking at Quiet-speaker. Pretending he wasn't there, so that perhaps he would go away._

_She wasn't ready to give up her freedom just yet._

_Do what you have to  
Cuz I want to know you..._

_Thee footfalls had ceased, so she glanced his way. Quiet-speaker stood about thirty metres away, turned to one side with relaxed shoulders and looking at the ground; the non-threatening position. Her ears twitched, and she blew softly through her nostrils, mildly curious. Then, the sound of a gate opening from the other space; the mare turned back to see Gentle-touch bringing the last of the others up to the barn, leaving her alone._

_Alone, with only Quiet-speaker for company._

_I'll wear my heart out on my sleeve  
If it brings you close to me..._

_For many minutes, she watched him; the longer she watched, the more the mare's curiosity increased. She'd learnt long ago that humans were impatient, abrupt beings, quick to bully and force, and yet none of those concepts seemed true to Quiet-speaker's character. She'd assumed she could outlast him in this test of patience, but he'd proved her wrong. The wind had picked up, carrying the early evening chill with it along with the promise of rain, and still Quiet-speaker stood. Waving-arms and the bay were long gone; the silence wasbroken only by the sound of her own slow breathing and the faster, quieter breaths of the human before her._

_And I just couldn't hide any more...  
Help me leave the life I knew before you..._

_She took a step away from the fence, hesitated. Quiet-speaker did not acknowledge either act on her part, so she took another, lowering her head as if interested in the grass instead of him. Gradually she narrowed the distance until it was about half the original gap; the mare did not dare venture much closer than that - voluntarily, at least. Raising her head to about chest-height, she regarded him steadily, awaiting a reaction. _

_It was not a reaction she expected, though it was not one she feared either; in fact, it was somewhat confusing. Without so much as glancing her way, Quiet-speaker turned and began to walk towards the gate. The mare lifted her head higher and gave a short, quizzical neigh, ears pricked forward and alert with eyes focused on his back; however, Quiet-speaker's step never faltered._

_He was leaving her behind, on her own to face the approaching dusk; the mare's herd instinct cried out at the very concept and compelled her to follow him. To give up independence for the safety of the group, the warmth of the barn._

_So she did; slowly. Quiet-speaker must have heard, for he deliberately paused, his hand on the gate, allowing her to catch up at her own pace._

_Call me by a different name  
I won't be the same anymore..._

_Finally she stood a few feet away, head turned to one side - casual, playing at indifference. Quiet-spealer murmered something; she twitched an ear in response, shifted an eye in his direction. There was the strange, yet familiar crackle of paper, the smell of mint; cautiously, she sniffed at the outstretched hand, eying the partnering appendage that hung, idle, at Quiet-speaker's side before deciding to accept the offering. There was no ' tricking ' with the head-restraint this time; Quiet-speaker waited until she was finished before producing it, raising it with deliberate slowness. The message was clear; _

_' you can run if you like. '_

_I won't fight You ..._

_The mare did not run. Quiet-speaker slipped it on, fastened it with care, then opened the gate a small amount - she tensed - and closed it again. She snorted with unease, made a movement similar to treading water, then stilled. He opened the gate again, asked her to take a step forward. She stepped, then hastily lunged through the gap and whipped around. No slamming, no scolding; just Quiet-speaker's voice, soothing as a murmering brook on a hot summer's day, offering reassurance as well as direction. _

_When he began to walk up the yard, she followed with unusual docility._

_I was so wrong  
To stay away so long..._

_It was an unsettling feeling, this fragile sense of connection; the mare did not quite know how to handle it. As soon as she was loose in her stall, she went on the defensive - ears back, eyes hard, body language unwelcoming - in order to make up for the brief time of apparent vulnerability she had displayed. ' I do not need you ', she tried to convey. ' I do not want you around. ' It did not come across as entirely sincere, however; even though Quiet-speaker complied with her wishes and left her be, the awareness that the mare was gradually softening was mutual. For the mare herself, watching Quiet-speaker walk down the aisle and away from her, the epiphany was a slightly frightening one; it indicated that her tactic of distancing herself from people, building an unbreachable wall, was not exactly working in this enigmatic case._

_God, I trust You..._


	5. Under the skin

**Sorry for the long delay; life fascinates me.  
I do not own Heartland. I do, however, own Rogue Enmity and this fanfic.**

**And, quite possibly, a noisemaker named Stanley.**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Yours Insanely,  
{E|L|L}  
**

_

* * *

_

_W__hat would it take for things to be  
Quiet?  
Quiet,  
Like the snow._

_- Louder Than Thunder ( Devil Wears Prada )_

_

* * *

_

Ty walked briskly up to the barn, sending frosty clouds of condensation into the air with each breath. Ben had arrived before him - the other stablehand's truck was parked in its usual spot - which was unsurprising, seeing as he and Amy had a show to get to and chores to get done beforehand. He saw Jasmine cross-tied in the aisle and dozing, a wheelbarrow by her open stall; big old Jake had his head over the door, and whickered expectantly upon seeing him. Ben came out of Jasmine's stall with a pitchfork, saw him, and called out,  
" Morning! The stalls are almost done; just four left. Amy's doing feeds. "  
Ty smiled in greeting at his friend and colleague, calling back, " I'll grab another pitchfork, then. How's Rogue? "  
" Moody; her stall still needs doing. No offence, but I still think she's mental. "  
" Thank you, Ben, for being so courteous as to allow me to risk my neck first thing in the morning. "  
" Any time, Ty. "  
They grinned at each other. Ty rolled his eyes and got to work.  
" Well... May as well get it over with. I'll do her first. "

Rogue was moody.  
The fiery black Akhal-Teke cross had clearly been pacing - the perimeter of the stall was flat and trodden - and even as Ty slowly approached, she tossed her head and laid her ears back ill-temperedly. There was credit to the fact that they had forged a tentative bond the other day, however; the mare stood fairly still as he slipped on her headcollar, and when she swung her head to nip at his shoulder upon being led her out into the aisle, he noticed it was only a half-hearted act with no real malice.  
The old swing-out reflex was repeated with the door, of course; though Ty was ready for it and proceeded without a problem. He thought she was not as abrupt as she had been the last few times, but that may have just been his optimistic thinking.  
Overall, the whole procedure went relatively smoothly and he finished the three remaining stalls with similar ease. While slipping on Solitaire's headcollar to take the feisty young colt out to the field, he heard Ben leading Red out of the barn and calling to Amy to hurry up.  
" Sorry, Ben - just this last haynet and then I'll get Storm."

"Ben sure is in a rush today, eh, Solly?" He murmured to the colt as he reached over to unlatch the stall door.  
A sudden crash made Solitaire shy backwards, however; before Ty could even open his mouth to sooth the young horse, Amy's voice sounded in a panicked shout.  
" TY! "

Speed was of the essence in situations like these; Ty merely unclipped the leadrope so that Solitaire wouldn't hurt himself and then vaulted over the stall door.  
At first, all he saw was Rogue standing in the aisle, loose and tensed and staring hard at him as if he was a predator about to pounce. Her ears were flat, her teeth were bared; the whites of her eyes were clearly visible, glinting with malignance.  
He took a step forwards; the mare wheeled around and bolted out of the barn. Then he saw Amy. Ty sprinted over as soon as the coast was clear; Amy was sitting up awkwardly by an open stall door, a hand pressed to her head; the strewn remains of a haynet, Storm's halter with rope, and leg bandages cluttered the aisle where they'd fallen and been trampled on.  
" What happened? Are you hurt? " He demanded, checking her over quickly. " Let me see. " He gently but firmly tugged away her hand, then bit his lip; her fringe was damp with blood, and her fingers were speckled with red. Amy grimaced upon seeing the latter.  
" She's loose, Ty - Rogue's loose. I opened the door and she bolted out... bowled me over. Hit my head - " She broke off upon hearing Ben's surprised exclamation and Rogue's loud, defiant scream.  
" Go! I'll be fine. Just get her back before she hurts herself. " The unspoken _or anyone else_ hung heavily in the air between them.  
" Ben is experienced with spirited horses. He can get her back. " It was a feeble excuse even to his ears. She gave him a look.  
" You know he won't get close. "  
She was right; Rogue appeared to have taken an irrational disliking to everyone, though Ty was fortunate in that due to recent events, she now disliked him a little less. The stablehand hesitated, momentarily torn. Amy steadied herself and gave him a light shove.  
" Go! "

Snatching Rogue's headcollar from its hook, he ran down the aisle.

* * *

_And I know this isn't much but,  
I know I could - I could be better._

_Not again. She had known it wouldn't last. From the moment Waving-arms had arrived - cheerful, brisk, __too brisk__ - the mare had been aware that something was up. The smells and sights confirmed Her suspicions; it was show day. Quiet-speaker was the only normality, his calm, unruffled routine holding together what fragile nerves She had left. The familiar wheelbarrow and pitchfork held no sinister associations. They were safe, consistant, unthreatening. Then Quiet-speaker left. Then Waving-arms led out the chestnut other.  
Then Gentle-touch appeared outside, headcollar and bandages in her arms, her heart rate and breathing accelarated from anticipation. The box suddenly felt too small for the mare - too trapping, too claustraphobic. Then the door opened._

The mare did not think; She merely reacted, rearing up and lashing out with Her forelegs. Gentle-touch stumbled back, and She took advantage of Her foe's momentary inbalance by barging past. Gentle-touch shrieked; the mare flinched and froze mid-step, whipping around at the light thud that sounded behind Her._protectiveness__. It had been Gentle-touch's alarm call that Quiet-speaker had clearly responded to; he was not here for Her, but his injured herdmate. She could smell the blood; nothing was sheltering Her from any vengeance that Quiet-speaker wished to inflict, and She was certain that he would inflict it on some scale. Humans always did. _

Quiet-speaker stood in the aisle, staring at Her. Though his body language quickly shifted to a deliberately calm and unthreatening posture, he could not hide his rapid breaths, his racing heart, his adrenaline and fear and

_I don't think I deserve it..._

_The moment he moved, the spell was broken. Her legs wheeled Her back around and launched Her away, out of confinement._

Her surroundings were briefly disorientating. She skidded, slowed, turning Her head this way and that to judge the way to safety. A quiet sound to Her left - Waving-arms had spotted Her and was on the move. The mare's ears flicked, then flattened, and She struck the ground warningly with a foreleg to keep him at bay while She decided which way to go. Down the long path? Or to the spaces, and the safety of numbers? Anywhere but up that ramp was preferable, somewhere spacious and safe.

Waving-arms made a sudden lunge. The mare threw Her head back and reared up defiantly; Waving-arms hastily backed off with an alarm call. The mare reared again and called out, before turning and cantering in the direction of a familiar reply.

_The pretty black other She'd befriended stood on the other side of the fence, ears pricked. The mare subconsciously collected Herself as She sized it up...should She?  
Could She?_

_Are we meant to be empty handed?  
I know I could - I could be better.  
_

* * *

Ty didn't need to ask Ben where Rogue had gone; he could see her up ahead, beating them to the paddocks. With a hasty request for his colleague to help Amy, Ty followed swiftly.  
She wouldn't jump the fence.

There was no chance of it; after being pressured and bullied in the ring, the Akhal-Teke cross had rejected a lot more than a rider. She wouldn't have anything to do with a pole, let alone a five foot solid-wood boundary.

It was in that moment that the mare set the trend for proving Ty wrong.  
" She's not slowing down... oh, you're not serious! "

Rogue was serious. She hesitated only slightly, then gathered herself and leapt. The horse sprang like a cat; high and clear. Before Ty's disbelieving eyes, she landed smoothly on the other side and galloped all the way to the opposite end of the field before stopping to look back.  
With a high-pitched nicker, Jasmine trotted over to greet her new friend; Meg and Peace merely looked bemused by all the fuss and carried on grazing. Rogue touched noses with the smaller black mare, then raised her head again.

She had seen him now. Rogue stood under Jasmine's soothing snufflings and stared, an unsettling intensity to her gaze. Then, Ty realised that it was not him she was staring at.  
_**The trailer... you paranoid little mare. **_

Ty shook his head, exasperated and sympathetic at the same time. Though the mare's intelligence was impressive, so, evidently, was her memory; it was upsetting to see her blatent lack of faith in people. The belief of badness in human beings ran deep, making her a wild and unpredictably dangerous force.  
There was only one thing to do, really.  
Ty walked away.

" Hey! Did you catch her? " Ben was in the kitchen with Amy, who held an icepack to her forehead but otherwise seemed none the worse for wear. Ty shook his head and matched his hushed tone; it was obvious that no one wanted Lou to wake up about now.  
" Nah. She's in Paddock 3. How's the head?" Amy perked up at that.  
" Fine; just trying to prevent any swelling. But there's other horses in there! Why'd you put her in there? " Ty smiled wryly as he sat down with a glass of water.

" I didn't, Amy. She jumped the fence. "  
There was silence in the kitchen, and under two wide-eyed gazes Ty felt compelled to elaborate.  
" I've never seen anything like it; she cleared it by a good foot or so. Whatever you saw at the show, it's obviously not jumping that she has a problem with. It's people. After she bowled you over, she turned to look at me. Her eyes... " He hesitated, looking down at his glass. " ... it was like she wasn't seeing me at all. Like it was an enemy standing in my place, about to attack her. And she didn't fear it. She resented it. And I think, just for a moment, she was thinking of attacking me first." He looked back up at them, eyes troubled.  
" Guys... we have a serious problem on our hands. "  
_  
Find your way into my heart...  
What would it take for things to be  
Quiet?_


	6. 7 Days to the Wolves

**Thank you to those who reviewed/ put this fic on story alert. This update is for you.**

**I do not own Heartland. I do, however, own Rogue Enmity and this fanfic.  
And also, quite recently, a cactus named Steve.  
**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Yours Insanely,  
{E|L|L}**

* * *

_It had only been when Waving-arms and Gentle-touch had disappeared with that dreadful box that Quiet-speaker had returned. He had read Her well; the mare let him catch her without resistence, sensing that the oddly drained feeling from the whole ordeal was mutual. A stranger had come down to help Quiet-speaker tend to the others; an elderly male with an air of certainty and sincerity to him. She did not fear this Old One, as he respected her space and did not trespass upon it.  
Only Quiet-speaker entered and left for the rest of the noon, afternoon, evening... a soothing routine._

_On his last visit before lockdown, she even let herself drift away under his fingertips..._

* * *

I won't suffer, be broken,  
Get tired, or wasted

Rogue ceased pacing to stare as Amy appeared at her door. The memory of their last encounter was fresh in both minds; Amy's hands trembled ever so slightly as she opened the stall door, and the mare's ears flickered back in response.  
Ty did not believe she could do it; and as much as she knew he was probably right, Amy still could not bring herself to turn back now. Everyday handling had only done so much, after all. For Rogue's hostility towards them to wane and for a true bond to be forged, they had to use join up. Ben didn't have enough experience; Ty was collecting Frost, a new boarder, from her owner's yard. Besides, Amy wanted to be the one to join up with Rogue - more than ever since the other day. She couldn't bear the blatently obvious barrier that had been immediately thrown up between herself and the mare from day one.  
It was a similar case to Spartan, she thought sadly. A horse she desperately wanted to help. A horse who could barely tolerate her presence.

She could do this.

Surrender to nothing,  
I'll give up what I started and stop this

Rogue's trick with the stall door did not catch Amy off guard; she'd witnessed it with Ty several times before. Still, she did not feel as skillful in handling the mare as he had, nor was she able to effectively calm her down afterwards with T-touch. Rogue did not trust her, not not relax under her fingers like she did with Ty. Walking down the aisle, she was aware of the whites of the mare's eye staring down at her. She could feel the tension in those shoulder muscles with each step; each harsh, snorting breath let loose jarred at her nerves.

Could she do this?

from end to beginning, a new day  
Is calling, and I am finalizing...

" I really don't think this is a good idea, Amy. "

Ben hovered nearby, his face a mask of worry. Rogue's ears kept flicking in his direction, but her stare was fixed on Amy. Her muscles did not relax.

" Well, have you got a better one? We've tried remedies, herbs, gentle and patient handling. She doesn't trust Ty and she barely tolerates me; we can't help her if she doesn't let us. Besides, she needs some form of exercise, and we can't catch her reliably in the field. "

Ben didn't have much to say in response to that, though the unspoken _maybe Ty should be the one to do this_ hung uncomfortably in the air between them. But Ty didn't want to join up with Rogue; or at least, he'd refused to give Amy an answer when she'd questioned him about it before, which of course only fuelled her belief that she needed to act.  
Ben held open the gate for her as she stepped through; Rogue stiffened, stalled, then rushed in and whipped around to face the gate. She was shockingly quick on her feet, her movements fluid and agile; Amy barely managed to keep her balance, let alone her hold on the lead line. Fortunately the mare stood statue-still as Amy stepped forward and reached up, ears flicking and muscles tautened.

" All right, girl... Let's try to communicate. "

Fight!

Unclipping the mare, Amy let the mare go, then stepped back. Rogue stood there for only the briefest of moments, nostrils flaring, before taking off and kicking up her heels in several defiant bucks as she went. Even though she'd lost condition, Amy could see the power in those haunches, the decisive soundness of each pounding stride. Rogue ran with her head up, angled in, and her haunches angled out - from the stiffness in her spine, such a position must have been very uncomfortable - but she never stumbled or lost her footing. She also never took her eye off Amy. That wild, faithless eye, so unnerving strange yet hauntingly familiar.

When the mare finally slowed, the stiffness and tension starting to ebb and wane in her lean frame, Amy used the lead rope and her voice to drive her away. Rogue shied abruptly, and with a toss of her head she was back to raging around the outside track at a frightening speed.

Amy bit her lip, feeling somewhat claustraphobic; a frail leaf trapped in the eye of the storm. She had done this only because she wanted Rogue to listen. She had wanted the mare to understand that _she _was the herd leader now, and to accept her presence. To put faith in her, as many others had, and understand that she could do so without fear of betrayal of such faith.

Run away, run away, I'll attack  
Run away, run away, go chase yourself

Things went wrong very quickly. At first Rogue simply ran around and around, the whites of her eyes flashing and her ears pinned back until they were almost impossible to see amongst the long, tangled black mane billowing haphazardly from her crest. Then the stiffness and discomfort of her running position made her slow down further to avoid losing her footing.

Amy stepped forward and flicked the lead line; that slight increase of pressure, one more rock to add to a volcanic mountain of stress, was all it took for the mare to lose the plot completely. Rogue skidded, snorted and swerved violently off from the rail, charging straight at Amy who stood, exposed and defenseless in the middle of the ring. All she saw was the wild whites of the eyes of the rugged black beast that bore down on her like a creature possessed.

**"AMY!"**

Run away, run away, now I'll attack  
I'll attack, I'll, whoa

She heard someone yell out her name; that unfroze her muscles and, with a snap of decisiveness, she made herself drop and roll out of the way. Rogue shot past, skidded into the fence with a dull crash, and came right back. Amy saw a flash of teeth, thrashing forelegs, and curled in on herself more tightly, covering the back of her head with her hands in the defensive position. She lay in the sand as still as she dared and tried not to flinch at each close blow - _too close, too close; missing by mere milimeters -_ and then someone was between them, arms out, roaring at Rogue.

" BACK! GET BACK!"

Kill off this thinking, it's starting to sink in  
I'm losing control now, and without you I can finally see

The mare half-reared and then backed off, returning to her mad run around the ring when Ty picked up the lead line and flicked it at her haunches. As Amy was shakily helped to her feet she took in the sight of his dominant, guarding stance; Rogue was cantering more freely now, choosing to flee from Ty rather than attack him. Her breaths were coming in ragged gasps and her sides were drenched with sweat, but still she held her head high and stubbornly pressed on.

" Move with me. I'm going for the fence. "

Amy heeded her friend, keeping close and stepping as he stepped. Ty blocked Rogue's path as she came around again, making himself as big as possible; the mare shied and switched direction as intended, giving them time to climb over the fence. Once they were gone the mare slowed, staggered to a halt at the opposite end of the pen.  
"... I thought you were out collecting Frost? "  
" His owners had a family emergency and rescheduled for tomorrow. " Was his curt response. Unable to meet his gaze, Amy looked back to Rogue.  
The mare's head snaked down and her forelegs spread apart for stability as she panted, her strength clearly spent. Her ears twitched, then flopped lifelessly to either side; despite her close call, Amy's heart wrenched at the pitiful sight.

Your promises, they look like lies  
Your honesty, like a back that hides a knife

" She's too stressed to approach right now. Leave her to cool down; I'll bring her in later. " Ty turned to stare meaningfully at her, his next words punctuated with unsettling firmness.  
" Do not go back in there, Amy. I mean it. For some reason I cannot understand, Rogue is particularly on edge around you. It may have something to do with her past - maybe she harbours bad memories of being handled by women or something. I don't know. But what I do know is that you need to take a step back from this. "

" But - "

" No buts. Rogue is a highly dangerous horse, Amy, and she could have killed you today. And if you keep going on like this... I'm worried that she'd going to actually succeed. " Ty turned back to the fence, signalling the end of the lecture. Amy numbly started walking up the path to the barn.

Rogue could have killed her, Amy realised. She could have done so easily, in either opportunity that had recently been presented. The only reason she hadn't was because Ty had been there to pull her back, to send her away.  
" **Amy, what the Hell is going on? **Ben just burst into your sister's office in a right state, exclaiming something about Rogue going mad and trying to kick your head in. Lou's on the phone to the paramedics right now, convinced that you're in serious danger! " It was Grandpa, running towards her with fear, anger, and relief on his face.

Amy began to shake uncontrollably.

And I am finally free.

_Gentle-touch left, but Quiet-speaker remained. She eyed him from Her corner, expecting another assault at any moment, but one never came. He simply watched Her, head on his arms, brow furrowed in an expression that She'd learned to recognise as contemplation. It was an expression he often wore around Her. Never anger, never exasperation, never frustration. Just acceptance, patience, firmness, and contemplation. She did not fear him, even now; though their latest clash made Her too wary to consider an approach.  
Finally, slowly, Quiet-speaker moved. He got down from the fence and turned, walking off up the path after Gentle-touch._

_The mare's eyes never left his back. When it became evident that this was not a bluff and his intention to leave Her was sincere, She lifted her head and called out quietly. Just a tentative nicker, nothing more. Quiet-speaker stopped, and glanced back. The mare watched him uncertainly; She had his attention now, and if She sought to communicate he would listen. Yet wariness suddenly smothered Her bravery, and distrust in humanity made her stay silent. The moment passed. He started to walk, without casting Her another look._

_She did not call out again that morning._

_Quiet-speaker did not return._

Your promises...  
I ( cannot ) promise you...


	7. Between Two Points  Human POV special

**Whoo! Somewhat-rapid update!**

**Just got a new budgie, so I'm making the most of the after-buying high that all animal lovers**

**experience when bringing a new pet home**** - and getting quite a bit of writing done :D**

**This is kind of a chapter special, all from human POV. Next chapter will be back to Rogue's POV.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Heartland**

**series - I do, however, own Rogue Enmity and this fanfic**

**Happy reading.**

**Yours Insanely,**

**{E|L|L}  
**

* * *

" So I hear you've got a mad horse at that little farm of yours. Honestly, Amy, must you insist on adopting every lunatic of an animal you find instead of doing the right thing for everyone and putting a bullet in its brain?"

Amy didn't need to glance up from where she was copying from Soroya's workbook to know who was speaking.  
" Quit it, Ashley. Amy has enough on her plate without having to put up with you today." The aforementioned friend glowered over the bus seat at the other girl, who merely rolled her eyes.

" Just trying to keep her informed on the risks, is all. So, Amy, have you had to replace any staff yet? I would have thought Ty, at least, had the sense to know it's best to start looking for a job elsewhere when a killer horse is brought home."

Amy scribbled down another answer, then lifted her head to meet Ashley's gaze coolly to state, " Ty is getting along just fine."  
At almost the same time Soroya queried uneasily, " What do you mean, 'killer horse'? Nobody's dead."  
Ashley's smirk grew.

" Didn't you hear? The girl who was riding Rogue Enmity when she flipped out never woke up. Some kind of bleeding in her brain or something; she died in hospital last night."

Amy couldn't speak. As Ashley turned back, still smirking, to talk to someone else, Soroya whispered to her, " Don't listen to her. It was an accident, what happened at the show; Ashley's just twisting things to mess with your head. "

_And it's working,_ Amy wanted to say. But instead she merely said, " Lou found out what happened on Saterday. She's called Scott for a second opinion. "

" A second opinion? " Soroya looked confused at first. Then comprehension dawned on her face, along with horror.

" Yes, " Amy confirmed quietly. " She wants to discuss whether Rogue should be put down. "

Soroya gasped, stricken, then lowered her voice hastily to avoid drawing attention.  
" But they can't! Heartland has never done that to a healthy horse, no matter how unreachable they seemed. Can't you do something, like you did with Prince and Spartan? "

Amy shook her head. " Unlike with Spartan, I don't know what Rogue is going through. And while Prince had Ryan, Rogue has nobody. She's alone... there's no person from the past to pull her out of the dark. Besides, she can't stand the sight of me. Only Ty can ever get near her on a regular basis; he has to do all the work and handling with her now, even on his days off."

Soroya put a comforting arm around her shoulder as the bus slowed to a stop.  
" Well, I believe in Ty. He's as great with abused horses as you are, and he'd never let Lou kill a horse if there was the slightest chance that he could reach it. "

" I know, and I trust him to do the best thing for Rogue. It's just that Scott's arriving in two hours - I'll still be at school. Her life now rests completely on Ty's shoulders, and I've no idea if he'll have the authority on his own to pursuade Lou to change her mind once again. "_ Or what he'd be willing to do to change it,_ she almost added. An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach at the concept.

" I'm sure he'll come up with something. Don't you worry. "  
Amy swallowed, her throat oddly dry.

" But I am worried, Soroya, 'cause there's only one thing left that could definitely change Lou's mind; and I know from experience how badly it could go. "

* * *

If you could only see the beast you've made of me;  
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free

It was 7:30 am, and he had one and a half hours to save Rogue Enmity's life.

Unclipping the lead line, Ty let go of the mare and then stepped back. Rogue hesitated, then took several rapid steps backward before wheeling around and fleeing to the rail as he raised his arms.

Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart...  
You are the moon which breaks the night for which I have to howl

Her coat was ungroomed, her mane and tail in tangles and knots. The whites of her eyes flashed, and her tail was clamped down. She looked wild, faithless and distrustful from afar; but from where Ty was standing, he could make out the slightest flickering of her inside ear as it sought him out.

She was listening.

Ty drove her on, jaw set, as soon as she showed signs of slowing; Rogue gave an abrupt spurt, then her ears flattened and she started to swerve off the rail -  
" **NO! BACK! GO ON!** "

Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack  
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out

He flung his hands up and stood his ground, making himself seem as big as possible. His bellowed words made the mare break her charge, and a firm flick of the lead line sent her shying away to canter around the outside track with her head held high and her spine stiff with tension. Her posture belonged to a deer racing the jaws of wolves... yet after several minutes, slowly, hesitantly, that inside ear came back to him.

Ty stepped forward. Rogue slowed down. He stepped back. She sped up, raising a gradual haze of dust with each circuit.

All aggression and resentment had been wiped from her; only confusion and a strangely naked sense of uncertainty remained.

He waited until she had settled into a steadier rhythm, then cut in front of her and sent her in the opposite direction. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ben and Amy's grandfather approaching, but at the same time he noticed Rogue's head snake towards the floor with reluctance.

She had slowed almost to a trot, popping in the odd hopping canter stride that made her head bob back up again, but as Ty drove her on the trot became steadier until, suddenly -  
" Yes, " he heard himself breathe in delight and relief. Rogue was licking and chewing; the clearest signal she could give that she wanted to stop running and join up with him.

Ty turned away to face the others by the gate; their shocked expressions and the cautious, unsteady footfalls behind him confirmed that he'd succeeded. Rogue did not nudge his shoulder or sniff the back of his head or as other horses had before her, but he felt her presence standing there all the same.

" Jesus... " He heard Ben mutter, at about the same time as Jack called out quietly, " That's a miracle, right there. Well done, Ty. "

Without looking back, he started to walk.

The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound  
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'ed ground

After a pause, she followed him. Ty arced left, then right, and though she was not at his shoulder he could hear Rogue's hoofbeats just behind, cautious yet definitely there. When he finally stopped and turned, she eyed him with dark brown irises devoid of their usual rim of white, and allowed him to rub her forehead.  
" Ben, could you come in here please? "

There was a long pause, a muttered oath, and then his friend and colleague was climbing over the fence and walking over. Rogue stiffened, ever so slightly at Ben's approach, but stood still; Ty turned to him.  
" Can you just hold out your hand for her to sniff? "

Ben smiled wryly at the request.  
" Fine, but if she bites my hand off I'm sueing you. Just giving you a heads up there. "

Rogue snorted, sniffed, then lost interest. She shifted, clearly uncomfortable with having another person in close proximity.  
" Now try and rub her forehead, like I did. "

Ben gave him a pained look that clearly stated _I love my arm very much, you know_, but complied. Rogue tossed her head, laying her ears back and stepping away, but Ty was ready for her and drove her off again.

Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins  
I want to find you, tear out all of your tenderness

Rogue charged off again, snorting harshly with each breathless stride. Her ears went back, then swivelled forward to give him the attention of that inside ear once more. Within nine circuits she was trotting, head down, asking to rejoin them in the middle of the ring. Ty turned away, motioning for Ben to do the same.  
After several heartstopping seconds, he heard the sound of hoofbeats.

" She's coming back, " Ben murmured beside him in awe. Ty suddenly recalled that this was the first time his friend had ever been involved in joining up with a problem horse.

When Rogue stopped behind them, Ty turned back and rubbed her forehead again. This time 'round, Rogue accepted Ben's touch; her ears flicked back, then forward again, and she turned her head away after a few moments towards Ty. Ben lowered his hand slowly.  
" That is unbelievable. "

Ty smiled slightly, then turned away.  
" Yeah... but let's see what happens when I do this. Stay there. "

Ty walked off. Both Ben and Rogue stood there for a moment, staring after him.  
Then Ty heard her coming.

Rogue blew through her nostrils a few meters behind, picking up the pace as Ty started to jog. Then Ty was running, with the mare cantering to catch up. When he slowed again, she was by his shoulder, and when he sped up, she sped up with him to stay there through every twist and turn.

Finally, breathless, Ty stopped and turned. Rogue, too, was breathing hard from all the exercise, but her ears were pricked. She looked... curious.

" Good girl, Rogue, " He kept saying as he patted her all over. She never flinched, even as a few stray tears dropped on her coat.  
" Good girl, Rogue, good girl... "

He wiped his face with his sleeve selfconsciously, then called out in a surprisingly steady voice.

" Jack, can you get a grooming kit and a leadrope? "


	8. Louder Than Words

**O N E H O U R L A T E R**

"** Ty Baldwin! What in the name of God are you doing with that - **"

Lou's shriek broke off as Rogue's head jerked up to stare with a snort, ears flattened. Scott looked uncomfortable and wary as he closed the gate behind him and walked around, getting a good look at the mare.  
" So this is Virginia's killer horse. She's not looking too malevolent at the moment; I'm assuming you joined up with her, Ty? "

Lou gasped.  
" You didn't - you _know_ what that creature nearly did to Amy! You were there! "

Rogue shifted restlessly underneath his fingers; Ty quickly resumed the T-touch he'd been doing before their arrival, as Ben kept his head down and combed the mare's mane on her other side.  
" Yes, Lou, I was there. Shall I tell you what I saw? "

He paused, resting his elbows on the mare's slim back to look Lou directly in the eye.  
" I saw desperation, and I saw fear. Rogue wasn't ready to put trust in Amy, and I wasn't ready to risk losing the small amount of trust she'd already given me. Yes; she _is_ dangerous, and she _is _more likely to turn on people than to run away from them. But Rogue is not a killer. On Saterday she had plenty of opportunities to do serious damage, and she took none of them. Today, she had the choice to reject humans or accept them, and she accepted them. I sincerely believed I could reach this horse eventually, Lou, and now I have. Please give her another chance. "

With his arguement over, Ty turned to the vet standing nearby.  
" Scott? Come say hello. "

Scott slowly stepped closer, raising the back of his hand for Rogue to sniff. The mare shifted again, brushed her muzzle against the proffered hand briefly, then laid her ears back. Scott backed off.  
" Doesn't like people much; or maybe it's just vets. "

Ty laughed wryly at that, scratching Rogue's withers fondly.  
" I can't blame her for that. Have a closer look at her quarters, legs, and chest. "

Rogue whisked her tail irritably as the vet cautiously ezxamined the mentioned areas, then sucked in a breath.  
" ... oh, dear. She's really been in the wars, hasn't she? "

Lou had been deep in a heated conversation with Jack, but at that comment both turned back to regard the mare in the ring with new sympathy as Ty listed off the causes of the nicks and blemishes on the mare's coat.  
" Whip lacerations, spur jabs, scratches and scrapes on her knees from rapping poles; I've seen them all before, as you have. But she's littered with them, Scott. Her mouth is ruined, too. They must have been dying the hairs around the scars, to hide them. "

" So she was definitely abused, eh? Poor thing; no wonder she turned nasty. Any animal, if treated badly enough, will try an fight back. Even horses can be pushed over the edge; a lot of people forget that. "

Ty nodded in agreement, a smile quirking up the corners of his lips as Rogue turned to sniff Scott's arm.  
" The trouble is coaxing her back. I think she's past her darkest hour now, but we're definitely not out of the woods yet. With your permission, Lou, I'd like to take full responsibility for Rogue's rehabilitation. "

There was a pause. Lou, pale-faced, gave a nod. Ty let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.  
" Thank you. "  
As he began to lead Rogue to the gate, Lou suddenly called out.  
" There is one condition, though. "

Ty looked at her warily.  
" ... what is it? "

" If you're willing, and if you think she can handle it, I'd like you to use her in Heartland's next clinic. I want people to see the same miracle I have, and to hear Rogue's story as it should have been told. "

* * *

**T W O W E E K S L A T E R**

_There's a drumming noise inside my head_

_That starts when you're around..._

_Quiet-speaker's voice reassured Her and encouraged Her as She took another step towards the pole on the ground. The hand resting on Her crest was warm and relaxed as She lowered Her head, blew, and amenably stepped over the obstacle as though it was no big deal. The praise was instantaneous and as enjoyable as afternoon sunshine on Her skin, pausing only long enough for Her to decide to show that She understood the rules to this new game after all. As expected, Quiet-speaker was delighted by her ability to walk over the rest of the poles of her own volition, and there was the familiar crackle of a mint packet.  
The poles did not concern her. This was not work - not by her previous life's standards. It was a mere game to Her; figuring out what it was that was wanted of her, challenging it, then mastering it. Quiet-speaker seemed to enjoy the games too, in his solemn and serious way, and not once did he ever rebuke or restrain her. If she wished to listen, the games progressed. If she wished to run, he saw her off and kept her away until she asked to come back. There were no ropes, no whips, and no punishments; only simple, polite requests and the firmlty encouraging reassurance of a partnership.  
Today, though, was different. _

_I swear that you could hear it  
It makes such an all mighty sound_

_Quiet-speaker strolled off, picking up poles and moving them; She was happy to wander after him, whilst keeping enough distance to ensure she did not bump into the lifted, coloured wood. Quiet-speaker talked as he worked, a relaxing murmer of nonsense that drew Her attention away from the arrangement of poles. It was only when he came back to Her that the mare noticed that he had formed a small cross, less than a foot off the ground, at the end of the stepping poles.  
Then he was asking Her to approach, as he had every other time.  
Wary now, She negotiated the poles. Quiet-speaker was in no hurry; he let Her stop and sniff. When She snorted and backed off, he did not resist.  
Instead, he walked in the opposite direction._

_There's a drumming noise inside my head_

_That throws me to the ground  
_  
_Caught by surprise, She stopped and turned to watch. When he called over his shoulder to Her, She cautiously made Her way over; only to be praised gently and left behind again. The mare blew through her nostrils, indignant now, and strode after him. Quiet-speaker moved faster, still giving sounds of encouragement, and She picked up a trot.  
They were circling around... and suddenly, Quiet-speaker halted.  
She slowed to stand by his shoulder, ears pricked, wondering what the point of this new game had been. She felt him rub the broad space between Her eyes, then, just as abruptly as before, he was jogging away. Tossing Her head, irritated and motivated to catch him completely this time, the mare leapt into a fast trot over the poles. She did not even think; She merely felt Herself pick up her legs and become briefly airborne._

_I swear that you should hear it_

_It makes such an all mighty sound_

_The landing was clean and right; there was no sharp jolt to her knees, no crack of unexpected impact. She kinked up her tail and rushed into a canter for her away-strides, then, smooth as a salmon, collected herself and looped back around to Quiet-speaker.  
When he jogged to jump it again, the mare had no hesitation in bounding over alongside.  
Twice, three times, four times... in her indulgence of agility and adrenaline, she forgot to notice that he was no longer jumping with her but running alongside, and that cross pole had become a small upright._

_As I move my feet towards your body_

_I can hear this beat; it fills my head up..._

_In a casual gesture that She had long since become comfortable with, Quiet-speaker leaned against her shoulder and rubbed her withers. In return, she fondly sniffed at his hair. For several minutes they just stood like that, tired and content, the human's arm over the horse's back. Quiet-speaker murmered something, and though she did not understand it the mare's ears twitched in amiable response._

_" I think you're ready, Rogue... we'll show them all tomorrow, eh? Tomorrow is our last chance to prove them wrong. Don't let me down, girl. "_


	9. Here Lies the One Who Couldn't Survive

_ How long will this take? How much can I go through?_

That morning, there was an eerily familiar electricity in the air that set the mare on edge. She shuffled restlessly beneath the soothing brushstrokes of Quiet-speaker; he was spending longer than usual with her today, and she sensed with each massaging circle that he was trying to calm himself as much as her.

She could hear cars, footsteps, people... with each arrival, her anxiety upped a notch. Quiet-speaker bit his lip, and left the stall briefly. When he came back, his colours had changed - still not black and beige, so her composure held - and he had a new scent-concoction to offer. Lavender, Star of Bethlehem, and several others... she sniffed, then lipped hopefully at his hand. Quiet-speaker gently nudged her away and put a few drops in her water bucket.

He stayed with her for a time. In the duration of his vigil the mare had sipped twice from her water, and her nerves seemed to have steadied. The sun was too high for her to suspect work, and the atmosphere here was too detatched from the congregation outside for her to feel any real anxiety. Quiet-speaker stood as a barrier between her and the disturbance, his presence as solid and safe as the walls of her box.

Eventually, Quiet-speaker left. She watched him check the Others, watched the buckskin pin his ears back ill-temperedly and lunge for a nip as his box was passed, watched a door open and close. She watched him come back with equipment, and blew through her nostrils warily. She backed up to let him in nonetheless, regarding the headholder and long-rope with only mild suspicion; the mare did not feel any real animosity towards them due to their harmless - even fun - association, but the noises from the outside world had set her on edge. She was not feeling very amiable to the concept of leaving her sanctum.

A bucket clattered in the distance Quiet-speaker opened the door, and the mare jumped, shied, stumbled backwards; Quiet-speaker was instantly at her head, reassuring and almost placating in his tone.  
Momentarily the mare was torn between the chasm of adrenaline and the blanket of serenity, but his touch drew her towards the latter and she stilled, relaxing under the circulatory movements of her fingers on her skin.

When he walked forward with confidence, without checking to see if she was following, the mare accompanied him hesitantly. She showed her whites of her eye to the door as she manouvered around it, but as usual it remained stationary and did not lunge towards her flanks.  
Then they were in the between-space, walking towards the light.

_My heart, my soul aches; I don't know what to do._

Her ears took on lives of their own; they swayed, twitched, and swivelled without conscious thought on her behalf, picking up and identifying every sound.

Her head was high as she stared over Quiet-speaker at the crowd; as they neared the gate, attention was turned to them - a single shocked breath caught, and spread like a fire through dried grass - and she baulked. Quiet-speaker simply stood, a hand on her neck, waiting. Waving-arms seperated himself from the many faces, his body language questioning; Quiet-speaker simply inclined his head, and Waving-arms returned the movement before stepping away and opening the gate.  
Quiet-speaker took a step. Then another. Then another.

The mare froze, shuddered, then leapt forwards; their feet touched the sand simultanously, and another disbelieving breath raced through the crowd. The gate clicked shut behind them; the mare turned to Quiet-speaker for guidance, eyes wide like an anxious youngster seeking comfort from an older herd member.

Quiet-speaker unclipped the long-rope; abruptly, his body language became domineering and aggressive, and he drove her away with a passion reflecting their first bond-up. The mare shied and broke into a hasty gallop around the outside track, bewildered and disorientated.

_I bend, but don't break, and somehow I'll get through  
'Cause I have you._

Everything was an adrenalised blur.

The mare lost count of the circuits; initially she had been running to escape - running to survive, as her most basic instinct dictated - and to intimidate the crowd - they stumbled back from the fence as she surged past, and the mare felt _power_ - but now she cantered simply because she was cantering. However, as Quiet-speaker took a sudden step to place himself ahead of her and she reflexively slowed, swerved and fled in the opposite direction, the mare was reminded of the reason she was making circles in the first place.

The crowd ceased to matter. Her ear flopped in, focusing - tuned in to his every move. Memories of this familiar ritual - as familiar as her own heartbeat, yet older than the hills - came rushing back, and obligingly she played her part by dropped her head, slowing to a trot, and chewing the air.  
Please let me back in. I want to be with you.

Quiet-speaker relaxed his stance and turned away, inviting her back in with his exposed and seemingly indifferent shoulder.  
Without hesitation, the mare strode across the sand to join him.

_And if I had to crawl...  
Will you crawl too?_

Shocked murmurings. The mare's ears twitched slightly and the disturbance, but her attention remained largely on Quiet-speaker. When he walked away, she followed. When he walked in loops and serpentines, she matched every step; and finally, when he turned and went to stroke her forehead with relief surging off him in waves, she gladly lowered her head to meet his caress.

She felt serene and secure, standing here. She did not feel the stress of fighting to be the one in control, nor was there a compulsion constantly watch her back. She had a friend, a leader, a protector.

Quiet-speaker was moving away; he walked around the ring, arms out, gesturing as he made clear, confident noises. The mare was not fazed by this behaviour and was content to stroll after him, barely glancing in the direction of the gate as Waving-arms and Gentle-touch carried in equipment and started to set up.

As they left, Quiet-speaker made his way over. He walked over the poles on the ground, and the mare accompanied him with ears pricked. He walked over a tarpaulin sheet and even hopped over a low cross-pole; the mare stayed with him through every obstacle. It was just another game now, just another practice. The watchers did not matter.  
Nothing else mattered.

_I stumble and I fall; carry me through  
The wonder of it all is you._

The watchers started making noise; agitated, pointed, dubious noises. Quiet-speaker's responses were patient, calm and confident, though she could scent stress starting to drip off him. Then he picked up a short-rope and walked to the middle, pointedly. The mare wandered over after him, curious yet slightly wary. This was not part of their usual games. This was not routine.  
He stroked her; his hands moved lightly over her neck, withers, back, belly, flanks and legs. The mare quirked an ear back questioningly, but remained amiably still. His hands kept coming back to her back, however; pausing, pressing, leaning.

Slowly, comprehension dawned. Both ears flicked back, and muscles began to tense - and a hand touched the side of her face, gently. the mare turned to look; there was an emotion in Quiet-speaker's eyes she had never seen before, but instinctively recognised.  
Supplication. Desperation.

There was no malignance or arrogance to be seen, only a silent plea that called for all her trust.  
The mare blew heavily through her nostrils, and turned her head away in an equally tacit reply.  
Fine, then. If you must.

_See me through...Do not forget me here._

The watchers inhaled sharply; some openly gasped, and several started to clap. The mare shook her mane and snorted lightly, unimpressed by both their awe and by the human sitting on her back. To his credit, Quiet-speaker sat very still and if it were not for her previous experiences with humans on her back - or the long period of time in which she'd grown used to being riderless - the mare could have forgotten he was even there.  
There.

Quiet-speaker leaned forwards slowly; as he rubbed the side of her neck in warm affection and gratitude, the mare turned to nudge his leg fondly. Yet her ears flicked back nonetheless, as a reminder that this was only a temporary arrangement. Games were one thing. Work was something else - something she'd decided never to do again.  
The negative thought only floated in her consciousness for a brief moment, however, before she was distracted by Gentle-touch entering the ring. Quiet-speaker gave the slightest squeeze with his calves - a command that the mare gave split-second resistance to, purely out of habit, before obediently stepping forward.

There was no tension, no restriction of movement; even at a walk, their bodies molded into one. It was a pleasant, relaxing experience, and one that she wouldn't have minded repeating. the contrast between Quiet-speaker and her former riders was striking, and put the mare in a more positive mindset.  
This wasn't so bad, after all...

She even greeted Gentle-touch with a light-hearted blow through her nostrils, which Gentle-touch returned - much to the mare's surprise. In addition to that, the sudden rush of applause made her jump slightly; as soon as her muscles tensed, Quiet-speaker was standing at her head and asking her gently to come towards the gate with the short-rope. The mare eyed him quizzically.

She hadn't even noticed him dismount._  
_

_When everything I was is lost; I had forgot, but you have not...  
When I am lost, you have not lost me...  
_

The applause picked up, like wind before a storm. Waving-arms brushed past and started making noises to the watchers; Gentle-touch and Quiet-speaker embraced and touched muzzles briefly, before Gentle-touch joined Waving-arms.  
Quiet-speaker led the way back to her box, his free hand resting over her withers the whole way. The mare skirted carefully around the door and turned sharply on the spot; as soon as the headholder was removed, the mare gave him a playful nip and then made a beeline for her haynet - food took priority over company, especially when the latter had taken up most of the afternoon. Her session was over, and the mare was confident enough to assume Quiet-speaker would get the message and leave her alone for a while.  
She assumed correct. She heard the door close and the fastener click. Quiet-speaker murmured what she took to be a farewell, and the sound of fading footsteps indicated his departure._  
_A few strangers walked past; many paused to stare. She flicked her tail in mild irritation, but each disturbance was only brief, and so the mare did her best to ignore them.  
Her mind felt... settled.

_You have not lost me__._

* * *

_**Lulz. I know it's been a good while since I updated; but was it not worth the wait? Only a few chapters left to go!  
I don't own Heartland. I do, however, own this fanfic  
( and, apparently, the idea of actually writing about horses in a horse-based series -_-' );  
plaguerism is bad. Go get your own original ideas, you villainous cads :P  
Cue end of disclaimer/claimer thingy.  
Reviews make me smile; smiling puts me into a positive mindset, which makes me slightly more likely to write :D  
**_

_**Yours Insanely,**  
**{E|L|L}**  
_


	10. Trust Me With Your Heart

Disclaimer ( of awesomeness ): I don't own Heartland. I am, however, damn sure that I own this fanfic and Rogue Enmity.  
This Ride is almost over, beloved readers. Just a few more chapters to go. Hang tight - and thank you for all the feedback. You guys are amazing :D  
Did a couple of ( crappy ) drawings of Rogue:  
http:/ . com/art/Ride-To-Suicide-264942406?q=gallery%3Aevilness-2008%2F32950699&qo=10  
and  
http:/ . com/art/Ride-To-suicide-Rogue-260339437?q=gallery%3Aevilness-2008%2F32950699&qo=20

I'm not bold enough to actually ask for fanart, but know that if you guys create any, I will love you. Lots.

Apologising in advance - I'm as much of an Amy fan as anyone, but there's a (slightly) twisted side of me that enjoys diversity. I was disappointed by Ben's lack of involvement in the books and how he never really forged a bond with any of the horses ( apart from Red ). Also, I've never actually read a fic OR book that had a horse ( disregarding Spartan and Gallant Prince, as they were just traumatised out of their minds ) that simply took a disliking to Amy. I thought it would be interesting to write ( considering a similar chemistry to the one between Sundance and Ty - those two tolerate each other and that's about it xD ).

Whether or not this has any plot significance in the long-term, I shall not say :P

Yours Insanely,  
{E~L~L}

* * *

It took over an hour after the clinic had ended to clear out the remaining visitors, many of which peppered Ty and Amy with questions on how they'd managed to successfully subdue a ' vicious mankiller ' ( Ty thought this label was horribly exxagerated, of course, but oddly, Amy went slightly pale and said nothing ). Rogue, unsurprisingly, was not in a sociable mood; the team did their best to keep the barn as quiet as possible during the tours, but when the constant lingering around her stall caused the mare to become restless, Ben took up a guarding post at the door to keep people moving.

When Ty hurried back from escorting the last group to the car park, he was rewarded by the sight of Rogue snuffling sceptically at Ben's hair. Ben stood frozen in place, not daring to move, talking quietly to the mare so as to keep them both at ease. Upon seeing Ty, Rogue whickered a welcome and lifted her head; Ben looked devastatingly relieved and quickly slipped out of biting range.

" Thank God you're back! She kept sniffing at me; I was terrified that I'd end up losing my scalp if I tried to escape - "

" **Would you quit that?** "

Ty wasn't exactly sure why he snapped at that remark. Perhaps it was the fact that he'd been putting up with similar comments all day. Perhaps it was the fact that the more he'd heard from visitors regarding snippets of her owner history, the more Rogue's reputation seemed grotesquely unfair. She hadn't been born hostile; she hadn't been born with those scars, or that paranoia towards trailers, or a fear of doors. Humans had pushed her into what she'd become and now, humans had the gall to condemn her for it.

" What is it with you people? Rogue's **not some Devil-horse**, trying to hurt people every chance she gets. Rogue's an **abuse victim**. Victims often undergo a drastic behavioural transformation - "

Rogue flinched, eyes flashing agitated whites. Ty hastily lowered his voice and continued,

" - to end that abuse. I'm sick of this whole 'mankiller' rubbish; whatever the reporters like to think, Rogue did **not **mean to break that girl's neck. I saw the footage. "

Ben glanced at the black mare then averted his gaze, ashamed. Ty stepped over and gently touched Rogue's face.

" It was a freak accident, nothing more. " He murmured, looking into the mare's liquid brown eyes. They looked back at him steadily. After a long moment, Ben cleared his throat awkwardly and spoke up.

" You're right. Sorry, Ty. "

" It's okay. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. "

" Rough day? " Ben attempted to joke. Ty sighed and nodded, curt.

" Something like that. " Another pause. Then:

" You know, why don't you go up to the house and sit down for a bit. You've been on your feet all day. "  
Ty turned and gave his friend a look.

" So has everyone else - " Ben rolled his eyes, then cut him off impatiently.

" Oh, you know what I mean. Go on. Scram. I'll take care of the horses before dinner. " He gestured towards the house, indicating that Ty should leave. The brown-haired man ran a hand through his hair, considering.

" Even Rogue? "

" Especially Rogue. I've been letting you have all the bonding fun; I think it's high time me and her did some bonding of our own. " Ty raised an eyebrow at that. Ben raised his hands in a shrug.

" Hey, it'll be good for both of us - and for you. No offense, but you look like crap. "

" Thanks. "

Ben grinned impishly. " You're welcome. "

" No, really. " Ty gave him a tired smile. It was good to have someone else on board; Amy had been distant lately.

" Thank you. "

* * *

I'm not the same as yesterday; it's hard to explain  
How things have changed, but I'm not the same as before

_She found his presence slightly bemusing at first. Still, he was persistent - and very respectful - so it was with dismissive countenance and occasional, heavy exhalations ( not of content, as with Quiet-speaker, but more of mild exasperation ) that the mare allowed Waving Arms to touch her. _

_First a gentle stroke, then grooming, then massaging. How on Earth this had all led up to him sitting on her back, the mare had no idea, but as long as Quiet-speaker kept producing more sweet foodstuffs from his jacket pocket she wasn't in much of a mood to complain._

_After all, Waving Arms just **sat there**. It was actually easier to ignore him than when he was on the ground._

And I know there's so much more ahead;  
I can barely believe that I'm here

_She followed Quiet-speaker around, over coloured sticks, between coloured sticks. She even popped over a couple of crosses; Waving Arms was the perfect passenger, passive and unrestricting. The mare rarely even thought to challenge Quiet-speaker any more, so reasonable and unflappable was his manner. For Quiet-speaker, she accepted the gentle re-introduction of saddle and bridle ( regarding the latter, Quiet-speaker had considerately chosen one without mouth-metal, so it didn't feel all that different from the standard headholder ) without a fuss. He was more herdmate than human. Waving Arms was another matter; the re-introduction of a rider even more so. Both were things to be challenged._

And I won't surrender quietly;  
Step up and watch me go

_The mare tossed her head as Waving Arms settled himself - with caution - on the leather on her back. _

_Quiet-speaker patted his human friend's leg and then stepped away, inviting the mare to follow him around the ring as usual. She took a short step forward. Then another. _

_Then she felt what she'd been waiting for and bolted forward, letting out a rebellious buck mid-stride._

Break down; d'you really want it?  
Wanna make a scene? Show me what you mean

_The contact on the reins abruptly lessened, as did the pressure on her nose; Waving Arms sat unshakeably still, letting her buck and twist as she pleased, the passive passenger once more. _

_The mare had intended to send out a message - she was **not** a pushover - but instead, she found herself receiving a message through Waving Arms still, but firm leg contact._

_**Neither was he**. _

_Intrigued and somewhat impressed ( gone was the meek caution; Waving Arms was just as calm and unfazed by her behaviour as Quiet-speaker was on a daily basis ), the mare slowed to a trot and then a halt. _

_She turned her head to look at him, blew through her nostrils in acknowledgement - as far as tests were concerned, Waving Arms had passed with flying colours - then turned back to face front. Both ears flicked back, attentive._

Let's get it started;  
Let me see what you've got

_When the slack was taken up this time, she did not resist the sensation. Instead, she stood, quivering slightly in wary anticipation. When all that was asked of her was a slow walk, the mare was almost disappointed. _

_They completed a half-lap of the ring; Quiet-speaker joined them for a while._

_ Both mare and rider seemed to share a restlessness, however, as it was about the same moment that she grew bored of walking laps that Waving Arms gave the smooth signal - without any jabs or kicks or slaps to her flank that she found so offensive - for a trot._

Can you take it up a notch? I don't think you've got it;  
Can't handle the pressure? Get off, stop talkin' about it

_It wasn't exactly nervousness that made the mare quicken her pace and whisk her tail, though a certain element of that still sang through her veins. _

_She felt oddly springy and euphoric, a mood not unlike a filly's first sighting of a stallion. Excitement bubbled up as she eyed the crosses from yesterday, set up off the outside track._

_ The emotion was fleeting as a butterfly, however; when she snatched at it and sized up the jump, it abandoned her a few strides away. _

_Waving Arms tipped forward as she swerved back, suddenly shy and resistant once more, but held his seat. The light, yet consistant contact of reins and legs sought to reassure rather than to punish, asking her to pace large, loose circles until she relaxed and put her trust in them._

_In Waving Arms._

_Quiet-speaker was a spectator at the gate now, but spotting him restored some of the mare's boldness. He was at the other end of the ring; the jumps were between them._

_There was something beautiful about this simplicity._

Gotta make this count, let's go - !

_Waving Arms was prepared this time. Though sceptical, his contact was supportive; he lined her up and interfered as little as possible, letting her focus her gaze on her target: Quiet-speaker. _

_Barely a glance was given to the jumps themselves - they were little more than a couple of hops. Quiet-speaker treated it as a great achievement and ( as expected ) fussed over her thoroughly when she stopped by the gate. _

_Waving Arms rubbed her crest fondly; the mare half-closed her eyes in enjoyment of all the attention. She was slightly irritated when it ended - all too soon, in her mind - and she was asked to repeat the trick._

_This time, she threw in a little buck. Just to see._

_Waving Arms never shifted an inch._

We live for this and nothing more;  
We are what you created

_All three of them crowded her space that afternoon, accompanying her to the open spaces where the Others were waiting; strangely, the mare didn't really mind._

_There were a lot of things she no longer minded now.  
_

_Quiet-speaker led the way. Waving Arms strolled alongside, an arm over her crest. Gentle-touch walked by Quiet-speaker, their shoulders brushing. _

_The mare decided she disapproved of this._

* * *

**" OW! Ty, she just bit me! "**

Rogue snorted, arched her neck imperiously, then galloped off with her tail kinked.

Ben started laughing.

" Pay up, Ty. I was right; Rogue really just doesn't like her. "


	11. Til Everything Burns

**Disclaimer: I don't own Heartland. I do, however, own the Rogue Enmity and this fic.**  
**Enjoy the swift update; two more chapters to go!**  
**Yours insanely,**  
**{E~L~L}**

**P.S: The chapter title is taken from the amazing song Everything Burns by Anastacia. I watched an X-Men: First Class tribute put to it; t'was awesome :3**

* * *

"That's her. "

Ty turned. A young man stood outside Rogue's stall, regarding the mare with an emotion he couldn't quite place. Somewhere between wistfulness and apathy.  
" I'm sorry, can I help you? "  
Leaving the black mare's half-groomed side, Ty let himself out. Rogue popped her head over the door and eyed the stranger, but at least she didn't seem openly hostile, Ty reassured himself. The young man stepped forward, deliberately angling himself to avoid brushing against Ty as he reached up to touch Rogue's forehead. Rogue let him.

Whoever this person was, he'd had no role in Rogue's abuse. The stable hand knew the Akhal-Teke cross well enough by now to be certain that if this hadn't been the case, Rogue would have behaved very differently. As it was, she extended the same bored tolerance thet Ben was now familiar with, nothing close to her open contentment at being in Ty's presence - Ty tried ( and failed ) not to feel smug about that.  
" I hope so. My sister was at your clinic last week and when she came back, she told me that she'd found Domino. I didn't believe her at first - it's been years, after all - but there's no mistaking her now that I can see her with my own eyes. "

Ty felt as though his stomach had dropped three storeys. The stranger continued calmly,  
" I have photos, if you'd like to view them. You see, Domino was sold because I grew too tall for her; Molly wasn't experienced enough to take her on at that stage, so I sold her to a reputable yard at the promise that I could go visit whenever I wished. But when I did, they told me they'd sold her on because she had been acting... difficult. Are you all right? "  
Ty realised his hands were shaking slightly. He stuffed them into his pockets and nodded curtly.

" Fine. So you're saying that... Domino, here, used to be yours and that her treatment, " he gestured awkwardly to the scars on the mare's haunches, " came from a later owner? "

Domino. The name sounded strange, unfitting. He didn't like it.  
The other boy nodded. Seeming to pick on Ty's slightly interrogative tone, he narrowed his eyes and straightened his back in response.  
" Yes. You think she'd let me touch her if I was the one responsible for those marks? I never once held a crop when riding Mino; with her, you never needed one. She didn't just jump. She flew. "

Ty recalled Rogue's ( well, " Domino's ") effortless leap over the five foot fencing a mere few weeks prior. They were definitely talking about the same mare.  
" Sorry if I sounded accusing. Just had to check. So, are you...?" Ty couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence; the idea of it clogged up his throat. No way. He had not come this far, worked this hard, just to have some stranger drop in and whisk Rogue away.  
That wasn't fair.

" That remains to be seen. I'd love to take her home with me, but I can't ride her any more and even before her... ordeal, she wasn't exactly suitable for my students. Too spirited. "  
" Oh. What a shame. " Ty felt no sympathy whatsoever. In fact, he was strangely gleeful - upon realising this, he reprimanded himself. It wasn't right to be happy about the idea of a horse being unable to go home with an owner who clearly cared about it.  
Hmph. Cared. The stranger seemed strangely detatched about the whole thing.

" Still, I'd hate to lose her again. I heard about the progress you've made, so I'd like to propose a trial run of sorts. Molly's nearly as good a rider as I am now; if she takes a liking to Domino and vice versa, then Domino will come home with us when you deem fit. "

Ty's stomach dropped again.  
" Um... you'll have to discuss this with Lou. She's up at the house. "  
" I know. " The young man continued to stroke Rogue.  
" Molly's talking to her right now. They'll be down any moment, I expect. "

Egotistical jerk. Ty wished Rogue would bite him.  
" Oh. Okay... sorry, I don't think I caught your name. "

" Daniel. Daniel Cartson. "

* * *

You wanna take control of me; I won't let you do it...

_The mare stared, uninterested, as Cold-hands stepped closer._

_She remembered this human, dimly; or rather the way he sat, as still and silent as fresh ice. Every move always calculated, flawless and detachedly professional, never giving her a reason to act up nor giving her the window of idle opportunity to do so. Never a partner, always a commander. Never a herdmate, always a rider. Though it would be fair to say he'd been a good human compared to those that came after... alas, the mare did not indulge in such analytical thoughts. _

_At present she was only concerned with why Cold-hands was here and, as he never had any treats with him, when he was going to go away. Admittedly, she got slightly suspicious when Quiet-speaker briskly finished grooming her and lightly placed a saddle on her back, but Cold-hands was a Big now. That - and his body language confirmed - meant that he would not be her rider today._

_When Cold-hands took the role of walking her to the ring, leaving Quiet-speaker to walk awkwardly at her other side, the mare briefly contemplated biting him. It was only the sight of the human in the ring, alongside another whose scent often whispered its way into the barn on Gentle-touch's clothing, that made her disregard that contemplation entirely.  
It was Tight-grip._

You say you know what's best for me  
I'm gonna make you prove it ...

_Quiet-speaker stood by her head, talking softly as usual, letting his familiar presence soothe her. It was difficult for even Quiet-speaker to maintain the fragile sense of calm, however, when waves of stress rolled off him. The mare pawed the ground, uneasy. She disliked the folding bar in her mouth; Cold-hands had insisted upon it in his icy, unruffled way and, caught out by his expert fingers, the mare had found her mouth invaded for the first time in months. It was a cold, bitter-tasting reunion of teeth and metal. In the midst of the mare's fussing, Tight-grip had somehow made herself at home in the saddle; the mare shook her head irritably, sidestepped, and - as she knew she would - received a jab in the mouth._

The sensation was infuriatingly familiar. Despite Quiet-speaker's body language, his voice, his touch, the mare's temper began to fray. Cold-hands was herding Quiet-speaker away, now, making him back up to the fence and leaving the mare alone with her uninvited passenger.

When Tight-grip gave a bruising nudge to the mare's flanks, the mare responded by jolting into a brisk trot. Cold-hands called out, a commander even from a distance; Tight-grip sat deep, pulled at the reins. The mare twitched her ears in discomfort, but obeyed and tucked her head down so that the heavy tugging sensation on her mouth would ease to a more bearable, consistant contact.

She remembered how to play this dance. She just no longer wanted to; it was that simple clarity that compelled the mare to change the tune.

You're always complaining at me; get off my back  
Why won't you just let me be? Get off my back!

_Head up, resisting now. Tight-grip was alternating between relaxing her grip and cruelly sawing on the reins in an attempt to force the mare to slow down. The mare gritted her teeth, fumbled with the bit, then lost it and, upon swerving to avoid a collision with the fence, received another sharp jab in the mouth. Saliva gushed up to soothe the pain; within minutes, the mare's lips were coated with froth. Cold-hands was now not the only one calling out; Quiet-speaker's tone was there, higher and less reassuring than usual. He made to approach; Cold-hands stopped him and both remained at the fence, standing by, doing nothing._

The mare collected herself, ducked her head down, tensed her spine, and bucked. Tight-grip yanked. The mare responded by kicking up her legs again.

Kick. Yank. Kick. Yank. Swerve.

The latter unseated Tight-grip; finally, the mare managed to seize the bit in her teeth and seize the control that went with it. No more assaults to her sore mouth!

The rhythm of hoofbeats, a headstrong snort; time now seemed to slow as she sped up, cantering at a reckless pace that verged dangerously on a full-blown gallop. Tight-grip was leaning back now, but wrenched at the mare's mouth one last time; in retaliation, the mare gave one more savage buck. The tightness dropped completely; her passenger had lost the reins; the mare spied them dangling, dangling -

- I'm gonna take a fall -

_Abruptly, the mare's head was jerked down. Her front leg fumbled, flailed as it was snagged in mid-air, and missed the stride altogether. She pitched forward, feeling a sharp pain as metal was torn free from her mouth; her mind went momentarily blank with surprise, fear, and a rush of adrenaline as her head and chest crashed into the ground. The momentum and impulsion produced by her rear legs sent her hindquarters forward in a clumsy somersault - then she was sprawled on her side, sore and disorientated, heart racing and riderless._

She heard Quiet-speaker's alarm call, heard his rapid approach; the whites of her eyes showing, the mare rolled onto her belly and staggered hastily to her feet. The broken reins and part of the bridle lay nearby, as did Tight-grip; Cold-hands was with her, making noises of concern despite his tense and forbidding body language. Quiet-speaker was approaching slowly now, speaking with deliberately enforced calm.

The mare flashed her whites at him, conveying her distress, but allowed him to reach her head and carefully begin soothing circles on her crest.

Tell me this and tell me that but I've heard it all before!  
Why won't you just let me be?

_Tight-grip abruptly let out a wail; the mare flinched and took several racing steps backwards. Quiet-speaker moved with her, fumbling with the headholder on his shoulder, seeking to simultaneously reassure and restrain. The mare tossed her head out of his reach but remained still, muscles stiff in preparation. Cold-hands made a low, angry sound; he rose and approached, hands balled into threats. _

_Quiet-speaker tensed slightly.__ That was all the mare needed. _

_With an angry squeal she sprang forward, shoving past Quiet-speaker and rearing up, threshing the air with her forelegs. Cold-hands' eyes widened, his posture morphing into hasty retreat. His voice, however, retained the threat, which Quiet-speaker responded to with a flinch. There was a strange calm to his movements as he pressed a hand on the mare's nose, directing it downwards so that he could slip on the headholder and lead her away._

Just let me be myself...

* * *

" Everything at your clinic was a lie. "

It was a disaster. Molly was in the kitchen with Lou and Amy; Ben had silently volunteered to take care of Rogue. The mare, now over the worst of whatever regression she'd experienced, had happily blown through he rnostrils at him and followed without resistance.

Leaving Ty to try and explain to Daniel what, exactly, had just happened.

" No. I told you that we'd just coaxed her back into accepting a rider using the hackamore; I told you that she wasn't ready for a snaffle bit yet. I know you had your methods of handling Domino, but -

" That isn't Domino. Not any more. I see that now. "

Ty blinked.

"...what? "

" My horse would never have tried to hurt Molly and she certainly would not have dared to try attack me. "

Daniel shook his head firmly, cutting Ty off before he could speak. The man's voice was hoarse, his eyes threatening to overflow.

" She's changed. She's... turned. there's nothing I can do for her now. "  
Though merely a few minutes earlier Ty had dreaded the idea of Rogue leaving Heartland, this rejection was worse. It was a condemnation, an announcement of exile.

" Mr. Cartson - "

" I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't keep a rogue horse at my yard. "  
The man dabbed at his eyes with as much dignity as he could muster, then turned and started walking up to the house.

His voice was quieter, more composed; Ty barely heard his words, yet they sent a chill down his spine like no others could.

" You shouldn't, either; once a horse turns, it's turned for good. It's only a matter of time before one of you gets hurt, too. "


End file.
